Parents of ADHD Kids Want You to Know 5 Things
Around five Australian children out of 100 are affected by Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Similar rates may be found worldwide. Every statistic represents a family that has navigated a sometimes challenging, but always rewarding, journey. As the mother of three gorgeous, bright, exhausting, and fun ADHD boys, I have walked this road closely. I’ve learned a lot about ADHD, parenting, and the misconceptions that society holds about it.
This blog will share the five things that I wish everyone knew about raising children with ADHD. These insights can help you foster more empathy, reduce judgment, and better support your child, whether you are a parent or educator.
1. You Need to Rethink Your Views on My Child’s Medication
The topic of medication is one of the most controversial in the ADHD parenting community. People often jump to harsh conclusions or make uninformed remarks. No parent puts their child’s medication on a whim or without thought.
Families typically undergo a lengthy, exhausting process before considering any medication. This involves pediatricians, neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, dietitians, and sometimes complementary therapists. From behaviour therapy to nutritional modifications, we try it all. We have read many research papers, attended support groups, and discussed the pros and cons of our decision with experts. It is not a decision we made lightly, but after much consideration and concern for the well-being of our child.
It’s not a miracle pill that will fix everything in a day. It is a tool, sometimes very effective, that helps manage symptoms and allows our children to function more effectively at school, home, and socially. It’s not a treatment, but it is part of a larger management plan that includes lifestyle changes and therapy.
Please, don’t comment on our choices if you do not have all the information or haven’t experienced this yourself. You often base your opinions on misinformation and stigma. Offer your support instead, or just listen.
2. ADHD is not the Diagnosis of ADHD Children
ADHD is not a diagnosis. It does not describe the entire child. All three of my boys have been diagnosed with ADHD. They are all as different as chalk is from cheese. One boy may be hyperactive and impulsive, while another is quiet and inattentive. The third child could fall somewhere in the middle.
Many people say, “I cannot believe your child has ADHD!” As if this diagnosis implied a uniform set of behaviors or that they “don’t look like” they are suffering from a disorder. ADHD is different for each child. Some children may be academically challenged but excel in sports or art; others may struggle with friendships, but have incredible empathy or creativity.
Their diagnosis does not capture all of their personalities, talents, challenges, or dreams. It’s only one part of their personality.
You should learn to understand the child and not just the diagnosis. You’ll be able to see the uniqueness of each child and why they may behave differently. You may even love them for who they are, as I do with my boys.
3. ADHD is not Curable by Diet and Exercise
It’s a common myth that feeding your child better food and making them more active will cure ADHD. A healthy diet and regular physical activity can help children with ADHD and those without it feel better emotionally and physically. However, these factors will not cure the disorder.
As many parents have, I’ve experimented with all kinds of diets, including those that eliminate sugar, gluten, dairy products, and artificial additives. I have encouraged my boys to burn off their excess energy by being active. These changes can temporarily improve mood and concentration, but are not a cure.
ADHD is a neurological disorder that involves brain chemistry and structural changes. It’s not “fixed” by a salad and a jog. Combining evidence-based medical treatments, behaviour therapy, education support, and lifestyle changes is the best approach.
You should also know that it is unjust and ignorant to blame parents for the ADHD of their children because they are inactive or eat poorly. This condition is not the result of poor parenting.
4. I Do Not Want the Name of Your Unicorn Practitioner
All of us have met someone who is well-intentioned and insists that their cousin’s neighbor has the miracle cure for ADHD. The offers are flying, whether it’s essential oils, crystals, acupuncture, or some other magical therapy.
I have compiled a list of alternative practitioners and remedies. Yes, I do listen to you because you will try anything when you are desperate. Here’s the truth. My sons suffer from a neurological condition that is managed by a team comprised of doctors and specialists with extensive experience and who are familiar with the science of ADHD.
No amount of herbal magic, crystals, or glitter can replace good medical care. Please understand that these suggestions are not based on science and may even be a waste of time and resources.
It is also important to share a cup and listen to the stories of others. Support from family and friends can go a long way. Bring a cup of tea and we can talk. I promise, it will mean more than a “miracle treatment.”
5. ADHD Has Nothing to Do with Lack of Discipline
The most harmful misconception is that ADHD children are badly behaved and need “a firmer hand.” People assume these kids misbehave as a result of being lazy, defiant, or undisciplined. This is not true.
ADHD is a brain disorder that affects executive functions, such as impulse control, working memory, and emotional regulation. Children don’t “choose to be impulsive or distracted;” their brains function differently. Traditional punishment or discipline can cause frustration and failure for both the child and the parent.
Structure, kindness, patience, and understanding are what kids with ADHD require. Positive reinforcement is more effective than punishment. They will succeed if they have a consistent routine, clear expectations, and regular breaks.
Self-esteem is damaged when they are constantly criticized for behaviors that they can’t control. This can cause anxiety, depression, and a feeling of hopelessness.
It’s for this reason that I wrote a children’s book series featuring a superhero with ADHD. I wanted to make sure that my sons, nd others with ADHD, would see themselves in the books. They would know that they were not alone. They don’t need to be perfect, they just have to keep learning and trying.
Understanding Hyperfocus
Many people say that ADHD children “can focus” when they wish to, implying that they are lazy or stubborn. What they are witnessing is hyperfocus, a state in which a person with ADHD loses track of time and their surroundings.
When used positively, hyperfocus can be an incredible superpower. However, it also makes switching attention or tasks very difficult.
The paradox of the ‘energy and attention paradox’ can be confusing to parents, teachers, and other children.
Conclusion
It is not easy to parent children with ADHD. There are ups and downsides, but there are also moments of joy, connection, and creativity.
Accepting the diagnosis, challenges, and quirks of our child’s condition opens the door to working on their strengths, rather than against them.
The greatest reward for me has been to watch my boys develop into strong, intelligent, and compassionate young men.
You are not alone if you’re a parent with a child who has ADHD. Thank you to all educators, friends, and family members for helping us learn.
Together, we can help create a world in which ADHD is accepted, supported, and celebrated.
