Understanding Traumatic News for Children
Today’s children are raised in a 24/7 media age. Many families are constantly exposed to distressing and traumatic events, such as war, natural disasters and acts of violence. We may be overwhelmed as adults by these events. It’s not surprising that our children are equally (or even more) affected.
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You’re not the only parent who wonders how to help their child navigate through these difficult topics. Parents often wonder what is appropriate to discuss, what amount of information is enough, and what kind of conversation they should have.
Explore age-appropriate, practical ways to help kids make sense of traumatic experiences without overwhelming them.
Understand Your Feelings first
Take a moment before you begin a discussion with your child to consider your emotional reactions. What is your opinion about world events such as war, poverty or natural disasters? Do certain topics trigger your emotional responses?
Understanding your limits and values is the first step. You can start by asking yourself:
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Would I rather spend time with my child or watch the evening news?
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What is the typical response to disturbing or scary content?
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What do I want to convey through our conversation?
Knowing where you stand will help you guide your child in a confusing and emotional terrain.
Limit your media exposure and make yourself available
Media today is flooded with distressing and graphic stories. Try to be with your child when they are exposed to news, whether it is on TV, in the car or online.
Limit exposure time and take breaks when necessary. Avoid playing the news in the background, where children could passively absorb it. Be intentional about what and when they watch.
Children, especially young children, are limited in their ability to understand complex situations. They may be confused or scared by what they hear or see. You’ll be able to better observe your child’s reactions when you are available and observant.
Stay Calm, and Listen without Judgment
It’s easy to offer explanations or solutions when children raise scary or confusing issues. Often, all they need is for you to remain calm and present. Simple, non-reactive responses like “Tell Me More About That” can make a big difference.
Children are often influenced by their parents’ emotional state. They may be even more uneasy if you are visibly upset or anxious. Your calm demeanour, on the other hand, can make them feel more grounded and secure.
Practice active listening. Empathy is key. Show empathy.
Ask Curious and Open-Ended Questions
You don’t have to know all the answers. Your role is to help your child understand their feelings, not to give a perfect answer.
Open-ended questions can be used to elicit their opinions.
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What did you hear?
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How did you feel?
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What do you think will happen?
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Why do you think that people do these things?
This type of question helps children to clarify their thoughts, and gives you an insight into the real struggles they are facing. This also allows you to take your time and respond carefully.
Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know”
There are times when there are no answers, or at least none that make any sense. It’s okay.
It’s perfectly acceptable to say, “That is a very important question” when a child asks you a difficult question, like “Why do people hurt one another?” or “Why wasn’t anyone there to stop it?” I don’t know, but let’s discuss it together.
If you want to continue the conversation, say “Let’s talk later.” But be sure to follow through if you make a promise to do so.
It encourages your child to remain curious and not shut down in the face of confusion.
Adapt the conversation to your child’s age and development
Age plays a major role in the way children understand trauma.
Toddlers and preschoolers can benefit from the following:
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Use simple and reassuring words.
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Focus on safety. “We are safe, and people in need of help are receiving it.”
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Avoid using graphic language or images.
Children aged between 6 and 12 years old:
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Limit your facts to a few, but clear ones.
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Recognise feelings and correct misunderstandings.
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Assure them of their safety routines and practices.
Teenagers:
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Encourage critical thinking, media literacy and media literacy.
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Talk about the complexity of global issues.
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Open yourself to emotional discussions and disagreements.
Each child processes information differently. Some children may ask many questions. Some may not say anything but show their emotions later through their behaviour. Be patient and observant.
Use Teaching Moments to Build Compassion and Understanding
You may want to protect your child from everything bad in the world. However, some exposure to the outside world can be a powerful learning moment.
Traumatic news stories can spark important conversations about values, justice and empathy. They can also inspire action. These stories can help your child gain a global view and develop compassion for those who are different.
You might say:
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Let’s discuss how people are helping one another during this disaster.
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What can we do from a distance to show our kindness and support?
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How would you feel if you were in their position?
You can start by encouraging small acts of kindness. For example, writing letters, making a donation, helping your neighbour or volunteering to help a local cause. Children who take action feel less alone and more connected.
Look for Signs of Trauma or Stress in Children
Some children may not verbally express their worries. Other children may express their concerns in different ways. Watch out for:
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Sleep disturbances and nightmares
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Changes in appetite
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Clinginess or separation anxiety
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Withdrawal from usual activities or lack of interest
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Anger, irritability or mood swings
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Concentration problems at school
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Playback or drawing of distressing events
This can be a normal reaction to sad or scary news. If symptoms worsen or persist, you may need to consult a pediatrician or school counsellor.
Create a Safe Emotional Environment at Home
Not only physically, but also emotionally, children need to feel secure. A safe home environment includes:
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Encourage open conversation
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Validating feelings without judgment
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Offer routines that are consistent to promote stability
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Limiting exposure to media that can be confusing or distressing
Try to have deeper conversations earlier in the day if your child asks difficult questions before bedtime. This can help them to sleep better and prevent going to bed with heavy feelings on their minds.
To help your child relax, you can create calming rituals, such as reading a story that is comforting, cuddling or doing mindfulness exercises.
Normalise emotions and model healthy coping
When children hear bad news, it’s normal to see them scared, angry, or sad. It’s important to help them understand their feelings and name them.
You might say: “Model how you deal with bad news.” You might say:
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“I was saddened by the story I read, so I went for a walk to get my mind off things.”
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Sometimes I talk to someone if I am worried. “It makes me feel better.”
Your calm and healthy responses will help them learn how to manage their emotions.
Seeking Help
Some children may be more affected by scary news than others, especially if trauma has been experienced in their lives.
It’s important to get professional help if you see persistent signs of distress, such as panic attacks, nightmares or refusal to attend school. A therapist trained in this area can help your child process their feelings in a structured and safe way.
Do not wait too long before reaching out. Early intervention can have a huge impact.
Conclusion
Your presence is your child’s greatest gift, not perfection. It’s not necessary to make sense of every war, disaster or violent act. It’s enough to just be present with an open ear, a calm presence and the willingness to work through the confusion together.
You don’t have to know all the answers. They need to feel loved, safe and heard.
You can help them to become resilient, compassionate and emotionally intelligent by gently guiding them through the complexities of life. They will be ready to care for others and make a positive difference in their ways.
